09/27/09 - Slavery, Submission, and Love     Colossians 3:18-19

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 Greetings once again, fellow happy slaves!  

We gather together today to read the words of our Good Master, the Lord Jesus.  We want to be careful to give Him our full attention and our heartfelt gratitude for having delivered us from our cruel taskmaster.  Our Lord has redeemed us from that domain of darkness, and He did so by His own blood.  Now we are His people.  We are not our own, but rather we belong to Him, and gladly so.  

Therefore, . . . We come to You today, Lord Jesus, and say to You once again, “Do with us what You will, we gladly belong to you!  Teach us Your ways through Your Holy Spirit.  Convict us of our sin.  Work in us to will and to act, not according to our own desires, but according to Your good pleasure.  You are our kind and merciful Lord and Master, and we love and trust You.  Thank you for saving us from our sin and from our selves.”

If you weren’t here last week, you may not fully appreciate the intent of that introductory prayer.  But it should be common knowledge among believers that the reason we refer to Jesus as Lord is because He owns us.  We have been bought with a price by Him.  Therefore, we are not merely servants who may walk away if we please.  Rather, we are quite literally slaves of our Lord Jesus Christ.  In the book of Colossians, Paul, Timothy, and Epaphras are all three described as slaves, the Greek word being doulos.  And that is the exact word Paul uses in Philippians 2 to describe Jesus Himself:

5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant [doulos, or slave], being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. ¹

Jesus took upon Himself the form of a slave.  Slaves have no will of their own.  They belong to another and perform the will of another.  This exactly describes the life of Christ.  He expressed His slave attitude when He said to his Father, “Not My will, but Yours be done” (Luke 22:42).  In John 4:34, “Jesus said to them, ‘My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.“  In John 5:30, we read, "I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.”  In John 6:38, Jesus said, “For I have come down from Heaven not to do My own will but the will of Him who sent Me.“

The Son of God became subordinate to His Father.  Jesus became a slave to His Father’s will for our sakes.  He constantly reminded His hearers that He did not come to be served, but to serve (Matt 20:28).  He came, not to do His own will, but only the will of His Father.  In that, the Son of God took upon Himself the form of a slave rather than a Son.

If we understand this concept of Christian slavery, and that Our Savior has been a slave Himself, then when we come to the Scriptures and see things written there for us that seem demeaning or even condescending, or somehow unpalatable, we will understand better how we should respond to such things.  Colossians 3:18 is one of those verses that cause believers much trouble.  What does it say?

What is the offensive word in that verse?  Wives?  Husbands?  Lord?  “Submit.”  What does it mean?  The Greek word is hupotasso.

1) to arrange under, to subordinate
2) to subject, put in subjection
3) to subject one's self, obey
4) to submit to one's control
5) to yield to one's admonition or advice
6) to obey, be subject

"A Greek military term meaning 'to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader'.  In non-military use, it was 'a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden'".

The word “doormat” is nowhere in this definition.  But Betty Friedan is rolling over in her grave.  The word “submission” as it relates to male/female relationships, was not in her vocabulary.  Ms. Friedan  (1921 - 2006) . . . was born in Peoria, Illinois in 1921 to Jewish parents and in her young days was influenced by Marxism. She was a lifelong strong advocate of legal abortion and in 1969 co-founded NARAL (National Abortion Rights Action League), an organization that sought to repeal abortion laws. She also co-founded N.O.W. (National Organization for Women) and served as its president from 1966 to 1970. ²

According to N.O.W., their six top social priorities are:
   1. Advancing Reproductive Freedom - NOW supports access to abortion and birth control
   2. Promoting Diversity & Ending Racism
   3. Stopping Violence Against Women - NOW supports I-VAWA (International Violence Against Women Act, S. 2279).
   4. Winning Lesbian Rights - NOW supports rights for Lesbians and equal marriage
   5. Achieving Constitutional Equality - NOW supports the Women's Equality Amendment
   6. Ensuring Economic Justice ³

“A woman is handicapped by her sex, and handicaps society, either by slavishly copying the pattern of man's advance in the professions, or by refusing to compete with man at all.” - Betty Friedan ⁴

Women handicap society by refusing to compete with men.

Over the last 50 years, Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem have changed how women in America in particular, and throughout the world, see themselves.  Largely because of the tremendous influence of these two women upon American culture in the 60s and 70s, we now have the right to legally murder our unborn children.  Not only is it a right, but today women with unplanned pregnancies are usually expected to abort.  This is the “progressive” world we now live in.  Now women are portrayed as at least equal if not superior to men in nearly every way.  Consequently we have girls, mothers, and grandmothers serving as soldiers alongside men.  That, for many reasons, is not an advantage in the military.

Not everything in the feminist movement has been bad.  Equal pay for equal work is certainly fair and should be expected.  We’re glad that has changed to a large degree.  But we have precious little else to be happy about.  Most of the other changes that have taken place in our society as a result of radical feminism has been disastrous.  What was originally touted as sexual equality has become enslavement.  Women were told that just being a woman was a curse.  Being capable of having children, and then having children that fathers took no responsibility for was unjust and unfair.  The solution to that patriarchal oppression was to make women capable of being as sexually irresponsible as the men who took advantage of them and walked away.  Abortion became the great equalizer.

Now women can simply “fix the problem" by getting an abortion, and the fear of an unwanted pregnancy and the huge responsibility of motherhood has disappeared.  Consequently, women have transformed themselves into the kind of people they hated.  The number of promiscuous, pre-marital and adulterous sexual relationships have exploded.  Co-habitation before marriage is to be expected.  Sex among teens can’t be condemned because their parents did the same thing.  Most of the young men in this current generation have been raised to take no personal responsibility for the unwanted children they help to procreate, and women have been reduced to little more than sex toys.

Today, thanks to the feminist movement, women have no reason to think they need to be wives at all, much less wives to their unfortunate husbands, or mothers to their barely wanted children.  So rather than liberating women to do their own thing and remove them from the supposed oppression that comes from marriage and motherhood and homemaking, women today have actually become slaves of their own unbiblical ideas and that in turn has become a curse on the entire world.  It is a very short step from the so-called liberation of women to homosexual rights.  And we know how well that has turned out.

So when we read Colossians 3:18 in public today, or even in church, . . . and I don’t mean liberal churches, but so-called Bible-believing, Evangelical churches, . . . it does not surprise us when the word “submit” is met with scorn and ridicule.  “Submit to your husbands” is anathema in today’s American society, as well as to many within the Church.  Even the men of today believe that women submitting to their own husbands is archaic thinking.  

One of the curious complaints you hear from Americans concerning Islam has very little to do with theology, and everything to do with women’s rights.  A burka is a sign of oppression.  Unfortunately, many if not most Muslim women do not enjoy being women in that culture.  Islam IS oppressive to women.  But it is not because of a lack of understanding of basic human rights.  Why are women so commonly mistreated in Islamic cultures?  It is because of what?  Say it with me: BAD THEOLOGY.

But here, we have the Word of God.  And here, in the infallible and inspired Scriptures, we read these crude, oppressive, patriarchal, heavy-handed, discriminating, sexist words, “Wives, submit to your husbands.”  Well, apparently there’s bad theology in the Bible too!  How can intelligent people actually believe this was written for 21st century American women?  Obviously, we need to understand that this was written to the women of the Middle East 2000 years ago, and it is simply a cultural thing.  This verse isn’t binding on wives today because we are enlightened and progressive and further down the evolutionary trail.

Well, if that’s the case, then I suppose the next verse is just a cultural thing also: “Husbands love your wives.”  Being the enlightened society that we are, love for one’s wife is now optional, just as submission to one’s husband is an optional, archaic, cultural thing.

The biblical teaching of submission cannot be swept away as being culturally irrelevant.  These verses are for God’s people, whenever and wherever they live.  Notice verse 18 once again.  Paul is not speaking to the general public.  He is speaking these things to believers.  Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.   It is right for everyone to live this way, but it is particularly right and even to be expected of the Christian wife that she should submit to the authority of her husband because it is fitting in the Lord.  It is right, it is appropriate to do so.  It is sinful not to do so.  

We’ve already seen earlier in this chapter that the Christian has a different perspective on life than the unbeliever.  In verses 1-3 we read,

1 If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Paul’s teaching about these things is, maybe more than ever, from a Heavenly perspective rather than an earthly one.  If Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan and hundreds of millions of other people who do not claim to be the followers, or rather, the slaves of Jesus Christ, . . . if they want to live apart from divine revelation and in contradiction to the will of God, then they certainly may do so.  But the Christian may not.  If you belong to Christ, and if you are a wife, then the word from your Master is that you submit to your husband (and I think in this particular context, Paul is assuming a Christian husband) because it is fitting.  It is right to do so.

Now, it doesn’t take long to come up with a long list of “what ifs”:
•    What if my husband is not a believer?
•    What if my husband won’t take the lead?
•    What if my husband doesn’t love me?
•    What if my husband abuses me physically or verbally?
•    What if my husband is being unfaithful to me?
•    What if my husband asks me for a divorce?
•    What if my husband wants me to do something against my conscience or against Scripture?
•    What if I married my husband thinking he was a Christian, but now it appears he isn’t?
•    What if my husband wants me to go to a church that teaches things I don’t agree with?
•    What if my husband joins a false religion?

And there are many more.  Listen!  This is exactly why you choose your mate very, very carefully.  The reason why the Jews of the Old Testament were forbidden to intermarry with Gentiles was not because they were Gentiles.  It wasn’t because interracial marriage was evil in itself.  It was because the Gentiles worshipped false gods.  They had really BAD THEOLOGY.

A Christian woman should be extremely careful who she marries.  A multitude of very serious problems can be completely avoided if her husband is a mature Christian, committed wholeheartedly to the teaching of the Scriptures and to following the Lord Jesus.  That is the basic formula for a happy marriage.  A happy Christian marriage.  Other things enter into the mix, but that is the primary goal: spiritual compatibility.  Shared convictions that come from the Word of God.

All those “what ifs” are legitimate questions, and they all require a LOT of thought and wisdom.  It seems that no two people’s marital problems are alike.  And all this so-called liberation over the past nearly 50 years has infinitely compounded the problems.

In reading this passage, I began to wonder why Paul mentions the wives first, and then the husbands.  It may be that he addressed them first in order to give them preferential treatment.  They may be the most vulnerable group he speaks to in verses 18 through the first verse of chapter 4.  Possibly even more vulnerable than slaves.  So Paul expresses his concern toward them first by telling them how a Christian wife should live with her husband.  He is her protection.  He is her responsibility.  She should respect him and honor him for that.

Then the very next verse addresses the Christian husband: “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”  Immediately, he addresses the tendency of husbands to be overbearing and condescending.  The word here translated “harshly” literally means “to embitter or exasperate.“  That is unacceptable.  A husband causing his wife to become embittered is as unacceptable as a belligerent wife who doesn’t respect her husband.  Do you remember how many times we read in Proverbs about it being better to dwell up in the attic or out in the desert than with a nagging wife?  She’s like a constant dripping. 

A foolish son is destruction to his father, And the contentions of a wife are a constant dripping. Proverbs 19:13

A constant dripping on a day of steady rain, And a contentious woman are alike; Proverbs 27:15

But a man who abuses his wife, especially if he claims to be a believer, is just plain evil.  Can you imagine the Bride of the Lord Jesus nagging?  Can you imagine the Lord Jesus treating His bride harshly?  Our Christian marriages are supposed to be a reflection of Christ’s relationship to us as His Church, His Bride, His Body.  Therefore, wives should submit to their husbands and husbands should love their wives.  And this is the heavenly, biblical, fitting Christian mindset.  It is obviously not the perspective of our culture.  

So, fellow happy slaves, what is our response to these things?  In our marriages, we are slaves to Christ before we are spouses to one another.  So if our Master says, “Wife, submit to your husband”, then that’s what Christian wives must do.  There are legitimate “what if” situations that always need to be addressed from the pages of Scripture.  But the general rule is that as Christians, wives are to be in  submission to their husbands, not because he is in any way superior, but because of orderliness.  God created wives to be helpers to their husbands, not their bosses.  He has created men to be the leaders of their families.  

Christian husbands, if our Master commands us to love our wives, the only appropriate response is, “Yes Sir.”  It is fitting and right for us to do so because Jesus Himself has set the standard for us.  We are to love our wives as Christ loves His Bride, the Church. 

1 Peter 3:7  Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

How a Christian husband treats his Christian wife will have an effect upon their prayers!  The greatest hindrance to a married couple’s prayers is conflict between them.  It’s hard to pray with someone who is mad at you, or who feels they are being mistreated.  A wife who is not loved by her husband will have a difficult time praying with him about anything, and vice versa.  A husband who feels his authority in the home is being usurped by his wife will have a hard time loving her or relating to her on a spiritual level.  Prayer is hindered when Christian couples ignore God’s rules for a happy marriage.

How important it is that we be wise in the choosing of our life partners!  In all that has been said to the Christian wives and husbands, those of you who are not yet married, listen up: There is little worse than a bad marriage between two people who cannot get along or be unified in their worship of God.  But on the other hand, there is nothing better this side of Heaven than a godly, Christian marriage.  

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1. All Scripture is from the ESV.
2. http://www.conservapedia.com/Betty_Friedan
3. http://www.conservapedia.com/N.O.W.
4. http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/betty_friedan.html