03/02/08 - Ms Scarlet, Bedroom, Candlestick (Ch 5)

Grace Fellowship 03/02/08 Miss Scarlet in the Bedroom With the Candlestick - Proverbs 5

One of the inherent dangers of preaching is the danger of saying too much about certain sins so that talking about the sin creates the scenario for temptation to the sin. All sin is heinous. Any time we violate the Law of God, it is an infinite crime because it is against an infinite God. All sin is inherently repulsive and should be repulsive to the Christian. The problem comes in the area of temptation. While the sin itself appears to be ugly, the temptation to sin is sometimes becomes nearly irresistible. How is that possible? It doesn’t seem right that temptation to sin should be so powerful and alluring to the flesh when we know in our minds and hearts that sin itself is dreadful.

Everyone seems to have peculiar temptations that haunt them more than others. It could be the temptation to overeat, or to drink too much, or to love money, or possessions, or prestige, or an almost endless number of things. But among men, sexual temptation seems to be, shall we say, the most popular one of all. I believe that is so obviously true that I do not need to belabor the point. But another reason I do not feel I should talk too much about this topic is because there is danger just in the discussion of it. Sometimes merely talking about this problem can actually create the problem for many men.

But the Bible speaks of, and records many instances of sexual immorality. We read of the promiscuity of Lot’s daughters. Abraham and Sarah had some strange ideas about marital fidelity. Joseph was practically attacked by Potiphar’s wife in Egypt. Jacob has a child by his own daughter-in-law when she disguises herself as a prostitute. Even more strange is the fact that the only survivor of the overthrow of Jericho was a prostitute. The prophet Hosea was commanded by God to marry a prostitute! King David committed adultery with Bathsheba, and the Pharisees brought a woman to Jesus who was presumably caught in the act of adultery.

The Corinthians were infamous for their fornication, which is why the apostle Paul had to give detailed instructions to the new Christians in that city regarding marriage. They didn’t know what God’s standards were for marriage and sexual behavior. And perhaps the greatest enemy of God’s people throughout the ages is referred to in Revelation as a woman dressed in purple and scarlet, a harlot, “having in her hand a golden cup full of abominations and the filthiness of her fornication” (Rev. 17:4).

It is no wonder that Christians in many places and at many times during history have suffered from varying degrees of paranoia regarding male/female relationships. One of the most blatant examples is seen in the priesthood of the Roman Catholic Church. Possibly the most paranoid group in regard to women and temptation is the Taliban of Afghanistan that forces their women wear a burqa, which only allows them to expose their eyes, and even then, they are covered by a screen.

So we have everything from the Playboy mansion on the one hand, to Taliban burqas on the other. Somewhere between those extremes is God’s will for men and women in how they relate to one another. In fact, God’s will is stated very succinctly in 1 Thessalonians 4:3.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; (1 Thessalonians 4:3, NKJV).

Solomon goes into MUCH more detail about this in Proverbs 5. Let’s read it together.

1 My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, 2 That you may preserve discretion, And your lips may keep knowledge. 3 For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey, And her mouth is smoother than oil; 4 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a two-edged sword. 5 Her feet go down to death, Her steps lay hold of hell. 6 Lest you ponder her path of life--Her ways are unstable; You do not know them.

7 Therefore hear me now, my children, And do not depart from the words of my mouth. 8 Remove your way far from her, And do not go near the door of her house, 9 Lest you give your honor to others, And your years to the cruel one; 10 Lest aliens be filled with your wealth, And your labors go to the house of a foreigner; 11 And you mourn at last, When your flesh and your body are consumed, 12 And say: "How I have hated instruction, And my heart despised correction! 13 I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me! 14 I was on the verge of total ruin, In the midst of the assembly and congregation."

15 Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. 16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. 20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, And He ponders all his paths. 22 His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, And he is caught in the cords of his sin. 23 He shall die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray. (Proverbs 5:1-23, NKJV).

There is one main point in this chapter which is made by contrast. There is the contrast between adultery and fidelity. Self-destruction vs. satisfaction. Woe vs. blessedness. The marriage relationship, when kept sacred and pursued with love, results in happiness that cannot be found outside that relationship. But the temptation to enjoy the physical pleasures of sex will ruin a life, a family, and even an entire culture. Listen to what David Hubbard says:

“Nothing in life so clouds our judgment and makes stupid fools out of the wisest of us as succumbing to illicit passion. All our useful energies are drained off to defend or conceal that behavior. The colossal compromise of adultery colors all our other value judgments and causes us to stagger along life’s road half-tipsy.” ¹

Verses 1-6 Solomon calls for his sons’ attention once again for the sake of attaining wisdom, understanding, discretion and knowledge. “Listen to me. I will tell you why an unfaithful woman is bad news: Because her words are so deceptive.”

No one expects honey to be bitter. A woman who craves men makes her words sound sweet, but she lies about the anticipated pleasures because the pleasures hide a sword. She is deadly with her bait and with her words. Young’s Literal Translation takes verse 4 and says, “her latter end is bitter as wormwood, Sharp as a sword with mouths.” Sharp as a sword with mouths. Not only does the seductress destroy her lovers, but in her destroying, she devours the lives of the men she captures. Adultery and sexual immorality are the ruination of multitudes.

What do I mean by ruination? I mean what verse 5 says:“Her feet go down to death, Her steps lay hold of hell.” If this were not scripture, I would be tempted to think Solomon is a bit over the top here. But think about it. Who knows how many people have committed suicide as a result of adultery? Who knows how many divorces have resulted, and how many families have been split up, and how many children have been impoverished and neglected because of an immoral and unfaithful man or woman?

Now days, we refer to that as “collateral damage.” That’s a rather simplistic, and somewhat more palatable way of referring to the death and hell that adultery produces. That is why Solomon is spelling it out for his son. It may be that he is talking to the future king of Israel! He MUST learn to be wise if he is to avoid the many women who would be happy to be in bed with such a powerful man. He must avoid his own destruction.

Verses 7-14 Here in these verses, Solomon refers to a previous fatality, someone who thought they knew better that his teachers and didn’t listen, didn’t pay attention, didn’t take heed to wise counsel. What are the dangers of fornication and adultery:

   1. “Lest you give your honor to others.” In a community like ancient Jerusalem, there was no such thing as the individuality and privacy we have today. People were integral parts of the society in which they lived. In that place, a good reputation mattered. People knew who you were, who your parents were, and whether or not you could be trusted. Adultery and fornication destroy honor and respect. It takes years to develop a reputation for being a good man. It takes 15 minutes to annihilate it.

   2. “Lest you give your years to the cruel one.” He may be referring to a woman who will seduce and then consort to blackmail or bribery to get what she wants. Or it could be a reference to the jealous husband whose wrath against an adulterer cannot be satisfied. Whatever he may have been specifically referring to, living under the effects of adultery are painful. There is no peace in it.

   3. “Lest aliens be filled with your wealth.” I believe this is a reference to causing a pregnancy by a woman who isn’t Jewish. The young Jewish man who falls for the strange woman, meaning a woman who is a Gentile, gives away the children he may have had for himself and his own family. The man who had many children was a rich man in Solomon’s day. Why would they want to strengthen their enemies by giving them children?

   4. “And your labors go to the house of a foreigner.” Similar to what he just said. Adultery gave away the most precious commodity the Jews had: their children. It was children that worked the farm, and children that cared for their parents in their old age. We have to put ourselves back in time to realize the devastation of giving an enemy workers and warriors.

Muslims understand this concept and it works very well in democratic countries. If your ethnic group is in the majority, you control the country. While African-Americans and white Americans are having fewer and fewer children, the birth rate among Muslims is quite healthy. They can take over a country, like Lebanon, and hardly fire a shot. That is precisely what happened in the 60’s and 70’s.

What is Solomon saying here? That a foreign woman, a Gentile seductress, robs not only the man of his children, but the man’s larger culture, his society, his community. So his labors go away to his enemies.

All of this causes the foolish disciple to finally realize the consequences of his stupidity. He did not listen, he did not pay attention, he did not obey his teachers, and now, even though he lives in the midst of the assembly and within the confines of his own community, the community of God’s people, he is on the verge of ruin. He has barely escaped the consequences of his sin. This should be a frightening example to the son of Solomon.

Verses 15-20 But now he turns the corner and speaks of the great blessings of a faithful marriage. Here is the transformation from death to life. If the honey of the harlot was bitter, the water of a faithful wife is quite sweet. The antidote for the dangers of adultery is the good and faithful spouse who looks to no one but their own partner for fulfillment. They keep the covenant they have made, and they enjoy the blessings of marriage in a way the adulterer never can.

The good and faithful wife is likened to a cistern and a well in verse 15, and the husband is compared to a fountain. Water was, and always has been a precious commodity in the Middle East. We read in Genesis of local wars fought over the possession of wells. Water, even in modern scientific circles, means life. It is this life and vitality that is so precious that Solomon says should “be only your own, And not for strangers with you.”

Husbands and wives are not to be shared as such with everyone else. The intimacy of the marriage relationship is private, and therefore a precious. It is a gift from God which serves to protect against the seductress and the adulterer. We are to find the satisfaction of our physical needs and desires there, in marriage, with the wife (or husband) of our youth, and not elsewhere.

Then Solomon completes the thought by saying, in effect, “Son, if you have this kind of blessing within your marriage, why would you throw it away to a foreigner, someone you don’t even know? Be enraptured by your own lover, not by an immoral and seductive woman who will cause endless misery.”

The word translated "enraptured" or “ravished” is only translated that way twice in the KJV, here in these verses. The word can be translated a number of ways. It is most often translated “err.” Here, a better word might be “to stray” or to be led aside. ² Notice what Solomon is saying. It’s OK to be “led astray” by your wife! In fact, let her lead you astray, not into sin, but away from sin, and into the bedroom! But the seductress leads to death.

That is the contrast. Ladies, most men are easily led astray. The good wife has the task of being a leader of her husband into an intimate relationship that is satisfying and good, and which protects her husband from the evil women of this day and age in which we live. It is not unlike Solomon’s day, only far more prominent, and far more deadly. Today, we have things like AIDS. But even that doesn’t seem to be much of a deterrent to promiscuity and fornication and adultery.

Verses 21-23 Finally, a closing thought. For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, And He ponders all his paths. 22 His own iniquities entrap the wicked man, And he is caught in the cords of his sin. 23 He shall die for lack of instruction, And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

It is great folly to ignore this advice. It is deadly. It is destructive. It is sinful, wicked, and in violation of God’s law regarding marriage. Sex is for marriage. Sex in marriage is to be such that it satisfies the needs of both partners. To look elsewhere is not just folly, but according to Solomon, the door of the adulteress leads to hell. The man who chases, and who is seduced by the immoral woman, is caught by his own trap, or as one commentator said, lassoed by his own rope. God sees this, and the man who does these things will give an account to the God whose law has been broken. Therefore,

My son, pay attention to my wisdom; Lend your ear to my understanding, that you may preserve discretion, And your lips may keep knowledge.

¹David Hubbard, Proverbs, Word Publishing, 1989, p. 88.

²AV - err 11, ravished 2, wander 3, deceiver 1, cause to go astray 1, sin through ignorance 1, go astray 1, deceived 1; 21

1) to go astray, stray, err
   1a) (Qal)
       1a1) to err, stray
       1a2) to swerve, meander, reel, roll, be intoxicated, err (in drunkenness)
       1a3) to go astray (morally)
       1a4) to commit sin of ignorance or inadvertence, err (ignorantly)

   1b) (Hiphil)
       1b1) to lead astray
       1b2) to lead astray, mislead (mentally)
       1b3) to lead astray (morally)