Grace Fellowship     10/05/08    Kings, Courts, and Contentions    Proverbs 25

We have come to chapter 25 of Proverbs which means that after today, we have approximately six more Sundays before we complete this book.  Not many people hear the entire book of Proverbs expounded, and we really haven’t done it justice.  There are so many things, so many topics in this book that could be explored much more deeply than we have done in our quick run through these chapters.  I hope you have enjoyed it and have profited by it.

Like every other chapter, chapter 25 touches on a variety of subjects and the problem I have is in deciding which topic or topics I want to emphasize.  In these verses, there seems to be an emphasis on various relationships and how those relationships should be handled.  How do we present ourselves in the presence of royalty?  Well, I doubt that that information will come in handy for any of us any time soon.  But the principle that is being taught in that regard has to do with being humble.  I’m sure we could learn something there.

How should we get along with our neighbors?  How should we speak with one another?  How do we address those who are sorrowful?  What should be our attitude toward our enemies?  This chapter has something to say about all those issues.  There is quite an education to be had here.  Let’s read it together.  Once again, I will be reading Proverbs 25 as it is found in the English Standard Version.

1 These also are proverbs of Solomon which the men of Hezekiah king of Judah copied.

2 It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.
3 As the heavens for height, and the earth for depth, so the heart of kings is unsearchable.
4 Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel;
5 take away the wicked from the presence of the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness.
6 Do not put yourself forward in the king's presence or stand in the place of the great,
7 for it is better to be told, “Come up here,” than to be put lower in the presence of a noble.

What your eyes have seen 8 do not hastily bring into court,
for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame?
9 Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret,
10 lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end.

11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
12 Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear.
13 Like the cold of snow in the time of harvest is a faithful messenger to those who send him;
he refreshes the soul of his masters.
14 Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give.

15 With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.
16 If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.
17 Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.
18 A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow.
19 Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips.
20 Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.
21 If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink,
22 for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
23 The north wind brings forth rain, and a backbiting tongue, angry looks.
24 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
25 Like cold water to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country.
26 Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked.
27 It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one's own glory.
28 A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

It is good for us to be talking about kings and royalty in these first seven verses.  I believe verses 4 and 5 are particularly apropos for the month ahead of us.  Take away the dross from the silver, and the smith has material for a vessel; take away the wicked from the presence of the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness.

In a few weeks, America will be choosing between two men for the office of President.  For all practical purposes, Senator McCain and Senator Obama are the only choices we have.  Neither is spotless or stellar.  But they are two very different men on many fronts.  Soon, one of them will be as close to sitting upon a throne as a man can get under a republican form of government.  The scriptures have much to say about thrones and kings, usually in regard to the king’s character and godliness, or his lack of such.  Character determines how a king or a president leads.  Let me give you a few examples (from the ESV) of how the Bible speaks of kings:

2 Chronicles 14:2
2 And Asa did what was good and right in the eyes of the Lord his God.

2 Chronicles 17:1,4&5
1 Jehoshaphat his son reigned in his place and strengthened himself against Israel. 4 …[He] sought the God of his father and walked in his commandments, and not according to the practices of Israel. 5 Therefore the Lord established the kingdom in his hand.

2 Chronicles 21:1&6
1 Jehoshaphat slept with his fathers and was buried with his fathers in the city of David, and Jehoram his son reigned in his place. 6 And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as the house of Ahab had done, for the daughter of Ahab was his wife.  And he did what was evil in the sight of the Lord.

2 Chronicles 22:1 &4
And the inhabitants of Jerusalem made Ahaziah his [Jehoram’s] youngest son king in his place, for the band of men that came with the Arabians to the camp had killed all the older sons. So Ahaziah the son of Jehoram king of Judah reigned. 4 He did what was evil in the sight of the Lord, as the house of Ahab had done. For after the death of his father they were his counselors, to his undoing.

2Chronicles 24:2
2 And Joash did what was right in the eyes of the Lord all the days of Jehoiada the priest.

2Chronicles 25:1&2
1 Amaziah was twenty-five years old when he began to reign, and he reigned twenty-nine years in Jerusalem. His mother's name was Jehoaddan of Jerusalem. 2 And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, yet not with a whole heart.

2Chronicles 26:3-5
3 Uzziah was sixteen years old when he began to reign, and he reigned fifty-two years in Jerusalem. His mother's name was Jecoliah of Jerusalem. 4 And he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord, according to all that his father Amaziah had done. 5 He set himself to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God, and as long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper.

2Chronicles 28
1 Ahaz was twenty years old when he began to reign, and he reigned sixteen years in Jerusalem. And he did not do what was right in the eyes of the Lord, as his father David had done,

In Old Testament Israel, the main issue in the life of a king was his relationship to God.  Did he or did he not fear, honor, and obey God?  If he did, God established his throne and his kingdom.  If not, God was against him and against his people.  Kings led their people further away from or closer toward God.  That principle has not changed, regardless of what form of government a nation may have.  Leaders lead, and they lead in the direction of the inclination of their own hearts.

In Proverbs 25:4, we read how Solomon speaks of the quality of kings by describing them as being like silver.  The silversmith needs pure silver in order to make a quality product.  That is why silver ore is processed and purified.  It is put through the fire in order to remove everything that isn’t silver.  The dross, the impurities, float to the surface during the refining process and is drawn off, leaving the silver clean and pure and undefiled, and valuable.  Impure silver isn’t worth much.

In verse 5, Solomon talks about those who surround the king.  Wicked people often gravitate toward kings.  Here they are likened to the waste material that pollutes unrefined silver.  To a large degree and from an earthly perspective, the voters in this national election next month will be choosing not only a new “king”, but we will also be determining what kind of “dross” will be influencing that “king’s” decisions for the next 4 to 8 years.  Once again, the Bible places great emphasis on character, wisdom, godliness, compassion, mercy, and faith, in other words, purity, when speaking of kings and leaders.

16 The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.  17 The war horse is a false hope for salvation, and by its great might it cannot rescue. 18 Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, 19 that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine. 20 Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. (Psalm 33:16-20, ESV)

Obviously, this is speaking of Old Testament Israel.  But the principle applies: The eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him, on those who hope in His steadfast love.  Horses and armies are a vain hope for a nation without God.  If God is against us, who can be for us?  When we choose a “king” in November, what kind of “king” do we want?  Do we want one who will surround himself with “dross”?  Do we want a “king” who will trust in the strength of his own might, or his own wisdom, or his own experience?  Please bear in mind that in just a few weeks, we will not be voting for an individual, but we will be voting for a political party that the “king” brings with him into the White House, and for all of his cabinet members and advisors.

Are there any issues that might give us an idea what kind of heart these presidential candidates possess?  Do we know where they and their political parties stand on the war on terror, abortion on demand, homosexual rights, educational rights, or human cloning, just to name a few blatantly moral issues?  Yes we do.  Do we know if any of the views these men and their parties hold are contrary to God’s view on these issues?  Yes we do.  Can I be more specific than that?  Yes I can.  But not here in this building, from this pulpit.  If you want more specifics, let me know.  I’ll get back to you.

The only question you need to ask is this: “Which of these men and their political allies are most closely aligned to the biblical principles we read of in Scripture?”  That should be the single most important factor in determining who gets your vote.  As Christians, we are single-issue voters.  Which political candidate and his party is most compatible with God and His word?  Which candidate is most likely to do what is right in the eyes of the Lord?  That is THE issue.  Once you have the answer to that question, you know who to vote for.  Don’t cast your ballot for any more dross than necessary.  Take away the wicked from the presence of the king, and his throne will be established in righteousness.

The second matter I want to address from Proverbs 25 is how we get along with our neighbors, with those who not only live around us, but particularly those with whom we worship and who share a common faith with us.  Verses 7 through 10 speak to this.

What your eyes have seen 8 do not hastily bring into court,
for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame?
9 Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret,
10 lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end.

In other words, you and I should be very careful about how we talk and to whom we talk and when we talk.  This passage fits perfectly with what we are told repeatedly in the New Testament  The ESV makes the last phrase in verse 7 a part of verse 8.  “What your eyes have seen, do not hastily bring to court.”  You think you’ve seen something, some infraction of the law that requires the attention of the local magistrate.  He was pouring old, burnt motor oil down a hole in his back yard, polluting the water table and killing endangered species for a hundred miles in every direction.

You run to the local authorities to have your neighbor arraigned and brought before the judge.  However, what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame?  What happens when your neighbor has a perfectly logical explanation for his actions, complete with eye witnesses who can substantiate his statements?   It wasn’t motor oil, it was the water from his fish tank!  Nothing is quite so humiliating as public humiliation.  That happens on Judge Judy and Judge Roy Brown ALL THE TIME.  Someone walks in with their complaint which eventually is shown to be baseless snivelling, and the plaintiff is humiliated not only in front of the audience, but on national television in front of millions of people.

Rather than jumping the gun and taking your neighbor to court for no good reason, take this novel approach: Talk to him.  Talk to your brother or sister.  Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end.  Your own reputation can be ruined by bringing false charges against someone.  

In Matthew 18:15, we read this: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.  If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” (ESV)  It doesn’t get much simpler than that.  If he SINS against you, talk to him.  But most people interpret that verse like this: “If your brother hurts your feelings, go to prayer meeting and have everyone pray for the sinning brother.  When he eventually hears about it, maybe he will leave the church.”  There is an awful lot of gossip that gets circulated in the form of a prayer request.  And it is because of gossippy words that fellow believers, brothers and sisters, often part company.  Churches split, entire denominations are born, wars are fought, and people are killed because people can’t keep their tongues in their mouths.

Look at Proverbs 25:11  “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”  Look at verse 15.  “With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.”  This is the antithesis of, “Well, you know me!  I just speak my mind!“  We’d prefer that you didn’t.  There is no virtue in “speaking your mind” especially when you are mindlessly speaking your mind.  Words, spoken in the right way, flavored with enough patience, can persuade rulers.  They can also break bone.  Words can kill people.  In Proverbs chapter 15, we read, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (ESV)  Our words, and how we say them, possess far more power than we realize.  How we speak is often more powerful that what we are actually saying.

If you are in a conflict with someone, here are some Proverbs from Keith:
Proverb #1.  Talk to the person face to face, alone.  This is shameless plagiarism from Jesus in Matthew 18:15.  Sorry.
Proverb #2.  Never, ever, ever try to settle a dispute with anyone through email.  You WILL be misinterpreted.  You ARE cutting your own throat.
Proverb #3.  If email is from Hell, the telephone is from Newark, NJ.  Don’t try to settle a conflict over the phone if at all possible.  It is very difficult to see body language through phone lines.
Proverb #4.  Patience is a virtue.  Be virtuous.  If time tends to heal wounds, impatience pours salt into them.

Then we have Keith’s Proverb #5.  It is better to prevent a conflict than to mend one.  This goes along with verses 16 and 17.  “If you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.”  You might wonder how this has anything to do with avoiding conflict.  The next verse explains it:  Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.  Honey is good.  To a point.  Too much honey is nauseous.  Your relationship with your neighbor is good, and he enjoys your company.  To a point.  It would be prudent to dismiss yourself from your neighbor’s house BEFORE he feels the need to vomit.  Seldom set your foot in your neighbor's house lest he get sick of you.  If you’re ever at our house late, and I tell you that I’m really getting tired of your feet, take the hint.

Finally, one last word on conflict avoidance in verse 20: Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda. (ESV).  Singing songs to a heavy heart, unless it’s the Song of the Volga Boatmen, is inappropriate.  Always.  Those who are of heavy heart don’t need your happiness.  It is not helpful.  It is like vinegar on soda.  The reaction could be violent.  

Those who are of heavy heart need your tears.  They need your sympathy.  We are to weep with those who weep, not send them Happy-Grams.  You will be resented at best, if not hated if you tell someone whose heart is breaking and whose sorrows are overwhelming to just “Put On a Happy Face” or “Let a Smile Be your Umbrella”.  Once again, the one outstanding thing Job’s friends did was to keep their mouths shut for a whole week while they sat with him and mourned.  Silence was their best ministry to him.

11 Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. 12 And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him.  And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. 13 And … . .
- they sat with him
- on the ground
- seven days and seven nights,
- and no one spoke a word to him,
for they saw that his suffering was very great. (Job 2:11-13, ESV).

If your friend is hurting, just show up and say nothing!  It’s OK not to have all the answers when someone is hurting.  It’s not OK to make light of their pain.  That kind of cruelty spawns conflict.

Finally, and this really is the final word on conflict for today at least, look at verse 24: “It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.”  This little tidbit of wisdom should be taken to heart, ladies.  The men seem to automatically understand the truth of this.  It is not written primarily for them except as a warning not to marry a woman given to “expressing her opinion” at every opportunity.  I would not make much of this except that Proverbs seems to.  

Proverbs 19:13  A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.
Proverbs 21:9  It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.  (If that sounds like Proverbs 25:24, it’s because it is an exact repeat)
Proverbs 21:19  It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
Proverbs 27:15-16  A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike; to restrain her is to restrain the wind or to grasp oil in one's right hand.

Now, what is the deeper meaning in these verses?  What is it that the writer of Proverbs is trying to communicate here?  Why is he making such cryptic statements that are so hard to interpret?  What do these things mean?  I don’t know.  A better man than your pastor will have to explain these verses to you.

OK, here’s what I think all this means: Husbands REALLY don’t like to argue with their wives.  And notice that in these verses, that is the direction of the conversation.  It isn’t saying that wives hate argumentative husbands.  Rather, a husband would prefer to live in the desert than live with a wife that is always looking for a verbal fight.  That is one of the reasons why Paul instructs Christian wives to submit to their husbands.  Being argumentative and contentious will not make for good family relations.  It might drive him into the desert, or at least into the attic.

So there are some words of wisdom regarding how to get along with one another, whether it is the President, or the hubby, or the neighbors.  Conflict is not fun.  It is particularly not fun for those who are called upon to referee between the warring factions.  Far better to do what Matthew 5 says:

… . . if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 25 Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. 26 Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny. (Matthew 5:23-26, ESV)

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Proverbs 25:11 “Apples of gold in settings of silver”  (John Gill)
http://www.studylight.org/com/geb/view.cgi?book=pr&chapter=25&verse=11

A word fitly spoken…
Or, "a word spoken on its wheels" {d}: that proceeds aright, keeps due order, is well circumstanced as to matter, method, time, place, and persons; a discourse well put together, properly pronounced, roundly, easily, and fluently delivered to proper persons, and adapted to their circumstances; and "seasonably" spoken, as the Targum and many versions render it: [is like] apples of gold in pictures of silver;
either like apples made of gold, and so valuable and precious; or as apples, called golden from their colour, as golden pippins, and golden rennets; or oranges, which are sometimes called golden apples: either of these in silver cases and enclosures, as Aben Ezra and Gersom interpret the word, or in a silver cup, as the Syriac version, or in silver lattices, as Maimonides, through which they may be seen, look very pleasant and delightful. The words may design, as some think, silver baskets of network; into which golden apples or oranges being put, and placed on a table, look very beautiful; and to such a word fitly spoken is compared. This may be applied to the word of the Gospel, as spoken by Christ, the great Prophet of the church; who has the tongue of the learned, to speak a word in season to weary souls, (Isaiah 50:4) ; and by his ministers, who publish the Gospel, that faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation: this being the word of salvation, is fitly spoken to all sensible sinners, and must be exceeding agreeable to them; since it is of salvation from all sin, and for the chief of sinners, and entirely of free grace; includes all blessings in it, and is for ever; and since it is a proclamation of pardon of all sorts of sins and sinners, and of all their sins, and according to the riches of grace; and is also the word of reconciliation, and publishes peace to rebels, who could not make their own peace with God; and yet this is done by the blood of Christ, as the Gospel declares: and, seeing it is likewise the word of righteousness, which reveals the righteousness of Christ as justifying, when a man's own righteousness will not acquit him; and invites weary souls to Christ for rest, and therefore must be grateful to all such persons, and be esteemed as valuable as balls or apples of gold; and as pleasant and delightful to see and hear of as those set in silver baskets of network; and be as refreshing and comfortable, and as grateful to the taste, as real apples of the best kind; see (Song of Solomon 2:2,5) . It may also be applied to the promises of grace, seasonably spoken, and suitably applied by the Spirit of God; who takes the promises which are in Christ, and shows and opens them to souls in distress, at the most proper and seasonable time; and which are exceeding great and precious, yield abundance of pleasure and delight, and are very comfortable. Yea, this may be applied to the words of good men, in private conversation, either by way of counsel, or comfort, or admonition; and to every word that is with grace, and ministers grace to the hearer, and is for the use of edifying, when time, place, persons, and circumstances, are observed. Maimonides thinks the external sense of the word is meant by the silver, and the internal sense by the gold; which latter is seen through, and is much better than the former.